You went to Heaven. To the place, we will share one day for eternity. The home we did not have together when I was young and innocent. One day I will experience living with my dad for the first time and forever.
My days will not be sad, nor will I have to cry for you like when I was a child. I only wanted to know who you are. I will tell everyone that I had what they have, a dad!
In my younger years, I missed you terribly. I am glad for the day you came to meet me. I was thirteen, a skinny and scared child.
Driving the almost thirty-five miles was not as terrible or scary as you thought. My grandfather was not even present to complain. Everyone welcomed you with open arms, even my stepdad.
That early afternoon I saw a white Cadillac approaching. Or was it a Town Car? I was too young to recognize the difference. I hid for a while. I knew in my heart that car brought to me, my dad.
I do not know how I knew. Things of the Spirit that dwelleth in me since I was noticeably young? He is still with me, my comfort, my counselor.
For the first time, I will see his face. Do I look like him or just like my mom? I loved you from the moment I saw you. Your eyes told me how excited you were to see me, or was it that you remembered the old romance you had with my mom? Who knows, the heart is complicated. It could have been a combination of feelings, that is all.
Thank you, dad. You showed up and share with me a little bit of what others have for a lifetime. I remember my Quinceanera. You made me feel incredibly special.
One day in the future, we will be together forever. We will have a HOME. A home like the normal kids have. That is how I felt through the years. Different, unwanted, unfit to be a part of that family, except for my loving stepdad.
It is a terrible thing to bear. Fathers pay attention. Your child may be suffering silently in your absence.